There are plus points about being flexible as long as its used as a tool to enhance the kids enjoyment and caring and not for ones own agenda.
The problem I have had recently is that there has been a change on the absent mother's part since the Christmas holidays that really annoys me because that change is bourne of sheer laziness. The problem is this; over Christmas, my daughter had a couple of accidents in bed. Now she has been dry through the night for a year or so now and its come as a bit of a surprise that she had an accident at all. What I would expect is that its dealt with, and reinforcement of sleep routines and making sure she can get to the toilet during the night safely and explaining to her what she needs to do, making her comfortable. What I wouldn't expect is her mother putting her back in nappies ARGH!
Now I don't normally ask the kids anything about what they do with their mother - I don't want them ever feeling like they have to hide anything or 'spy' for me, not interested in that in the slightest. I always ask them if they enjoyed their weekend and if they did anything fun and listen to the resulting chat but won't pry about specifics. However, and I feel guilty for doing it this time, I have had to. The reason she is in nappies is that they are not allowed to get out of bed until an alarm goes off at their mothers. So my little girl thinks she has to stay in bed and shes desperate for the toilet but fearful of reprisals if she gets up to go, so she wets the bed.
I have countered this by having a potty in her room, making a game of making sure there are enough lights on so she can see her way to the toilet if she wants to go, and to reward dry nights rather than criticise wet nights. This has been very successful - even if it does mean that sometimes she wakes me up before 5am thinking its time to get up. One battle at a time!
So comes the next problem - how do I speak to their mother about this? She will accuse me of meddling and trying to be controlling when all I am after is consistency for the children and not regression. Any ideas, then leave a comment let me know what you think might work.
