Support networks

So I write a post about how I get stuck at home all of the time (well, comparatively) and yet just a couple of days after I get invited out for a drink with a couple of friends.  This doesn't happen all too often as I made plainly clear before so I was damned if I was going to pass up on the opportunity, and hence this leads quite nicely on to the topic for today; support networks.

Having an effective support network around you is so important, as a parent generally I think, but even more so for a single parent.  I help out some of the other parents at school by picking up their kids and looking after them for a couple of hours here and there when they are working, and whilst the offer is always made to return the favour, I have very rarely taken them up on it.  Part of this is because most of the times I want to go out are when my daughter at least is in bed, if not both of them, however some of it is because I am very aware of changing the kids routine and asking them to stay somewhere different never goes well.

A long time ago, I lived around 100 miles away from family.  We came up every other weekend to see both sides of the family but we ended up moving back up to be close to them after a medical emergency which meant our closest support very kindly drove the 40 miles from where they lived to help us with the kids.  

So the kids routinely have a sleepover at their Granny's house nowadays.  They both love staying there (and get spoilt rotten!) and some of the time its just as a treat, and other occasions, like tonight, it is because I have been invited out.  One thing I make sure of is that I always tell the kids which way around it is.  If I am asking them if they want to stay over because I am going out and they say no, I stay in.  This doesn't happen very often but I like the kids knowing that they have the final say, perhaps that makes me a soft parent, perhaps not.

Either way, tonight I managed to get out and meet friends for the first time in ages, drank far too much coke (I was driving after all), and got home far too late.  In other words I had a wonderful time, and without my support network it wouldn't have happened.  

One thing to make sure of whenever you use your support network - it's a two way thing, always is and be mindful of their needs as much as your own.  Tomorrow as re-payment I am going to be putting Christmas decorations in the loft for the old dear as she struggles to do it herself.  This may not seem like a lot compared to having the kids stay over, but it is what she asked for in return so who am I to question her?