What a difference a day makes

So yesterday I wrote about being in a rut effectively and not really having the chance to talk to people but in the space of a day from voicing the opinion, I have made the first steps I mentioned to sorting it out.

I have been injured and not able to play rugby for quite a while now (5 months give or take) and last night I went down to my rugby club whilst Granny kindly babysat for me to take part in the Monday night O2 Touch Rugby session.  This session plays closer to rugby league rather than union which I normally play - 6 tackles, rollback for a tackle, no scrums, relies on running lines and handling skills.  It also takes away ALL the contact areas from either code.  We have kids as young as 8 playing with us (and yes we let them score too) and folks as old as late 40s.  I am never fit enough to train with the first team and there is no such thing as a Veterans squad training session so this is what I use as my cardio and skills training each week.

The amount of people there that came up to me and said something along the lines of "Hey, you're back, wecome!" was amazing and made me remember why I chose this club to call my home, it's such a great atmosphere, such awesome people and it's never too high pressure to perform.  I felt the weight of lonliness simply fall away and I felt stronger, more confident and more my normal self, even if the last 10 minutes of the last game we played were in horrendous conditions (high wind, hail stinging every part of the body and bloody cold).

So I came home, had a bath to soothe the aches (didn't work too well I am aching today pretty badly but thats just due to lack of conditioning and not another injury thank goodness).  I then went online to start a conversation on a group I have joined.  I felt confident to set out my stall and say I wanted to talk to someone and why I wanted to talk, it felt easy to be open about how I feel and to be honest I am quite proud of myself.

I ended up having a long chat with someone and we have continued the discussion this morning while the little one was at school.  To actually have someone listen to me, and for me to feel comfortable enough to give them a warts and all recent life story and have them not run off screaming and then share their equivalent with me has done me the world of good.  I said I would post on how it was going so here I am, and I certainly hope this isn't just a lucky start and I continue to feel this good about myself at last.

Coping while ill

Heres another interesting topic that I would love to hear more from other lone parents about how they deal with it.  This last week I have been ill.  I won't go into gory detail but needless to say it has knocked me for six and I have really struggled to even get out of bed let alone do anything interesting with the kids, and to top it all off it is currently half term for the little ones.

So I had to fall back on the support network.  Having someone else here while the kids are up and about has helped a lot, kept the house straight for me and helped keep the kids entertained, and having a sleep over when I simply couldn't get out of bed because of the pain, and the rest of the time being slightly out of it on painkillers.

Now, I still have not recovered completely but I am well enough to do stuff again, and with only 3 days left of the holiday I am now rushing about trying to get all of the different things a parent does during half term, so I shall stop waffling and get the some food down the kids necks and take them over to the cinema.

How do you cope with an illness when you are on your own? Do you fall back onto the support network or just grin and bear it or do something completely different? Let me know.

Back to work terrifies me

Well this morning I have been out to buy a suit.  After leaving my career behind to care for the kids full time, something has come up that interests me greatly.  I am a software developer and team leader by trade, having worked on some rather large projects for multinationals and government organisations.  This is the kid of job you can't really go back to part time so when this opportunity cropped up I was initially a little sceptical as to how much it was worth to be to be back in work.

In the end, the amount of money I will get different to now is not massively different, yes it's more, but mainly I will be feeling better about not scrounging off the state (I haven't been out of work since I left university - in fact I haven't been out of work since I was about 17).

I have a couple of concerns - I spoke about consistency previously and I am worried how, if I go back, the routine for the kids will change and how that will affect them.  I am also concerned that having a couple of years off in the IT industry is worse than other industries where the technology and the required skillsets don't progress as quickly.  Can I still pump out the same quality of software I always used to? Probably not for a few months while I get back to grips with things, but I have had to learn from scratch before and have the drive to do so again.

Next problem I face is one that will be quite familiar to pretty much anyone coming off benefits I would have thought, but having not been in this position before I find it quite daunting.  Benefits gives the family enough to exist, I have done my best to save a little but most of those savings were used just before Christmas when I had £700 of repairs needed on my car.  Will we be able to stretch the amount I have saved to last the first month of work until I get paid, or can I time it well enough to make sure I don't have to do something like that?  Hopefully things will line up well enough.

I should re-iterate that I haven't been offered a job yet, just an opportunity that I am looking into.